Step 1 to living a meaningful life.
(at least what has worked so far for me)
We are made of values. There are certain values that matter to us more than others. These are the building blocks of how we exist in this world, how we make important decisions, how we interact with others.
I’ve been on this three-month challenge to journal consistently. The rules are that I journal every single night before bed and every Sunday, I go through every entry from the week and find patterns. Like a personal value audit! I started this project because when I tried to write out my creed earlier this year, I didn’t have anything to base it off of.
What do I value?
What do I fear?
What inspires me?
What do I spend most of my waking hours thinking about?
While these questions are not difficult to answer upfront, I wanted the data that proved that these were things that I thought about.
I’m two months in, and here are some thoughts that I’ve repeatedly mentioned in my entries.
I worry more about my parents' mortality and think about their gradual aging. 24 is an odd balance between “I want to take care of them” and “Please don’t age more because I need you guys to take care of and protect me”
I care more about protecting and fulfilling my needs than I do fulfilling the wants of others. Between staying out late with others or going home to my bed to sleep, I now choose the latter.
I care a lot less about what other people think of me. I couldn’t care less if people stared if I bawled in a train station because I felt morbidly upset.
My virtues are more self-defined: discipline, boundaries, agency, and intentionality. I feel most whole when my actions align with these virtues.
I don’t need to absorb and believe in every single piece of advice I receive. That if I don’t respect and want to become that person, chances are that their opinions might not be worth adopting.
Trusting myself with the process, that as long as I stay brutally honest with myself, I’ll always figure out a way to a life that feels most meaningful and true to me.
That I’m actually introverted, a Sunday of just shutting myself off from the world is so blissful. Just me and my Kindle.
Things take time. Friendship and relationship building takes time. Learning the ropes of a job takes time. Finding your calling takes time. There is no switch or magic button to expedite certain processes in life. Instead, find the beauty in observing and navigating the process
At the end of the day, your body is the greatest and most honest barometer in your level of interest in something. Try your best to lessen your time on books, people, and tasks that don’t interest you, and instead try to foster and engage more in the things that you feel are interesting to you. Finish the damn boring book and move on to something that you find more meaningful and interesting.
Everyone has their own list of thoughts.
But there are common threads that string these random thoughts. No matter where we are or what we do, certain elements of our daily actions hint at the fundamental values that make us who we are. And I’m a firm believer that by knowing the elements that make us and break us, we can live a more intentional life that feels true to us.
As humans, I think we all have a funny magical sixth sense of whether or not we’re living a life that is true to us. We know when someone is being inauthentic. We know deep down when we’re being inauthentic with ourselves, even if we’re afraid to admit it.
If you know you value family, try to spend more quality time with them.
If you know you value money, try to educate yourself on your investments.
If you know you value agency, audit your social events to see whether you actually want to attend.
It’s by making sure that you are being honest with yourself about what you value, and then practicing the habits and actions that align with the values, that we become more authentic and whole humans.