The Prologue to the entrepreneur's dream
Or in other words, the horrible limbo phase.
Do you remember who you were, before you discovered your “thing”?
The thing that people mention when they introduce you to someone else.
The thing that you own and work on.
The thing that is your brand that makes others want to seek advice.
The thing that gets you out of bed every day.
Who were you to your peers then?
How did you introduce yourself?
What did you work on?
And how did you move forward?
I’ve been at this brutally awkward stage in my life for a few months now where while I have the curiosity and motivation to build, I have yet to discover the place to direct it.
I want to build, but I don’t know WHAT to build. Yet.
It feels like I’m stuck in pre-pubescent entrepreneurial limbo that comes with a wavering self-identity, a desire to want what other people have, and realizing that you’ll never be as cool as them.
And it stinks.
It stinks to feel pathetic when everyone around you has that lean one-liner that can explain who they are and what they’re known for.
They have projects and purposes to direct their work. They have that “why” that makes sense to themselves and those around them.
It’s been so hard to judge whether a new project or decision is worth my time and effort; if I had my “why”, as long as my actions somehow contributed to it, I would be able to judge if it is worth my time.
And so the question keeps coming back to haunt me;
Risa, why are you building a LinkedIn following?
Why are you sharing these healthcare lists?
Why are you writing this Substack?
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY and WHAT FOR?!?!
Two things have helped me find a little bit of solace in this frustrating me-problem.
First, accept it as part of your journey.
I’ve been speaking to founders that I think are uber-successful, and I’ve discovered that they’ve all been here in this lonely limbo before.
I’m realizing that it’s part of the entrepreneur’s journey, almost a rite of passage for anyone with the burning desire to find their purpose. It’s the chapter in the entrepreneur’s story that we often gloss over.
The Prologue.
The entrepreneur’s book typically starts from Chapter 1: how you found your thing. And rarely talks about all the random and seemingly irrelevant projects and people the aspiring entrepreneur had to encounter, to one day, fortuitously discover their “thing”.
But, through my talks, it always seems like the prologue chapter is just as important, if not more, to the final story. Each seemingly irrelevant experience somehow eventually finds its place in the book.
So instead of thinking of the beginning of becoming an entrepreneur as when you find your “thing”, just realize that you’re only in the prologue. Setting yourself up for the grand story.
Second, once you accept this, there are things that you can do to set yourself up for the next chapter.
I read this blog by Graham around a year ago about how to do great work. It was recommended by a friend who is also in limbo. It points out that the “why” is not something you can deliberately reach out to attain, but something that you can make yourself a target for.
What should you do if you're young and ambitious but don't know what to work on? What you should not do is drift along passively, assuming the problem will solve itself. You need to take action. But there is no systematic procedure you can follow. When you read biographies of people who've done great work, it's remarkable how much luck is involved. They discover what to work on as a result of a chance meeting, or by reading a book they happen to pick up. So you need to make yourself a big target for luck, and the way to do that is to be curious. Try lots of things, meet lots of people, read lots of books, ask lots of questions.
You can’t talk about the storyline climax in a prologue. But there is also so much you can do.
So this is how you gracefully start writing the prologue of your own entrepreneurial story:
“be curious, try everything, meet people, and ask lots of questions”
I still have my rainy days where I feel so damn disillusioned. Building and watching are completely different experiences, and sometimes I feel like I’ll be benched forever.
But in those times I try to remind myself that as long as I stay committed to pursuing things out of honest interest, somewhere down the line my prologue will end and my own Chapter 1 will begin.
You are very philosophical and do not shy away from deep contemplation. When I was your age, I was extremely anxious about the future. What should I do for a living? What could I do? Would I find myself in financial difficulty? I was extremely worried.
As Steve Jobs said in his Stanford commencement speech, Keep looking. Don't settle. I'm sure you will find what you put yourself to achieve.
Very honest reflections - kudos to you for putting it out there.
Echoing what Ikuo says here about anxiety in your twenties: I threw myself in a tizzy with personal pressure (supplemented by internalized social expectations) to have everything figured out *definitely by 30* and it just made me miserable even as I checked off boxes on the list.
My sense here is that duck syndrome (peacefully gliding on the surface while frantically paddling underwater) is 100% true, especially in the sort of ambitious circles that you're exposing yourself to. No one has everything figured out - and the convincing narratives that make for great soundbites more often than not are temporary and require a ton of work before they match up with reality.